This week, our two hosts have requested photographic evidence of our existence. As a front, they’ve also asked that some of our favorite books be in the picture. Clever rouse. I really hope they don’t sell this to The National Enquirer. Or, if they do, I hope they’re considerate enough to offer me a chunk of the profit. I may or may not split my earnings with The Great Golden Dragon of the Tower of Tomes. He kind of owes me.
You see, I’ve hired him to guard my treasures. But you may notice that my copy of The Magicians by Lev Grossman is missing. Only the sequel appears. He’s supposed to follow a very strict set of rules if anyone approaches, including myself.
First, you must beseech him and make your request. Try to be humble and bow your head. (I have trouble with that last bit. Pookas are very prideful creatures).
Then, if he begs you “come hither,” you must whisper the secret password in his fearsome ear.
But the dragon has a sweet spot for ice cream sandwiches. Bring one of those bad boys with you, (it’s no easy task to keep it from melting on your arduous journey to his pillar), and find his hidden ticklish spot, and my books are as good as freaking borrowed. At least he’s a good judge of character and always lends them to others from whom he knows they’ll be returned. He’s lucky, too. His fire breath would mean nothing against a PookaWoman scorned.
Have you read I Capture the Castle, The Blind Assassin, American Gods, The Magicians, or The Magician King? If not, let me know if you need some encouraging! I’ll recommend the jackets off of those suckers! (See: The Blind Assassin for proof).
If you have, were you as wooed as I?